Khan's Remembers
by bedb
Summary: Lcdr Marla Mcgiver has six days to record Khan's history before he is returned to sleep.
1. Chapter 1

Day One:

My name is LCDR Marla McGiver and after several months of petitioning Starfleet for access to their prisoner known as Khan, I have been given permission to record his thoughts and memories one week before he is to be returned to cryosleep.

This affords me a unique opportunity to get the history of this remarkable man from his own mouth without judgment on my part. As I am never to be alone with him, my constant companion on this venture is Mr. Spock, science officer of the Enterprise. Among the security personnel with us is a man with a twentieth century weapon known as a .44 magnum. This is the only weapon Khan appears to respect as he is always glancing towards it from behind the clear shield that separates us from him. His one request from me is that I bring him some fancy crackers, which he eats steadily but slowly while we discuss his history. When they are gone, so is our time together.

My first impression of Khan is that he is a striking man with black hair and remarkably pale blue eyes that can go from thoughtful to dangerously cold in the beat of a heart. His physique is both slender and strong. Strong is an understatement I admit, a healthy Khan is stronger than a healthy Vulcan. In the trial notes that I obtained it was stated that even though injured from the crash of the dreadnaught Vengeance, it took the steady firing of a phaser from Lt Uhura to save Mr. Spock's life.

I began the interview by asking him his name for the record. My recorder is running and he looks at it several moments before saying, "Khan". The second and third part of his name, Noonien Singh, was the name of the only father he had ever known. He had taken it as his own when he was older. He had hoped it would draw the man and his wife back into his life.

Although the most famous Augment, he was not among the first. The first generation had failed to thrive and died after an extremely difficult artificial gestation period. Swiss based Biogenetic Laboratories, with laboratories in most major cities and some not so well known facilities in third world countries where laws were more flexible, were the people experimenting with human enhancement which they hoped would lead to many valuable breakthroughs. Imagine people without fear of disease, with longer healthier and happier lives.

And so when the second batch of Augments produced five viable fetuses, two males and three females, that reached maturity, the men in charge of the research refused to risk their lives on failure to thrive. Noonien Singh and his wife Kuldip were brought into the research compound to tend to them. Unfortunately one of the males died within the first week of life. The splicing of genes and introduction of alien genetics had created a birth defect that had gone unnoticed until too late. Adding animal DNA in utero had created not a superman but the exact opposite. One of the girls while a toddler found a cobra and the rest of that was history. Khan survived infancy and right from the start his uniqueness was evident.

Learning from their mistakes, Biogenetic Laboratories created ten more less enhanced Augments, one of them genetically related to Khan through mitochondrial DNA The fair haired brother was named Joachim, and they were permitted to live together and bond under the care of Noonien Singh and his wife Kuldip.

(note: Khan is pacing while he tells this story)

Dr. Chandragupta and his American colleague Nelson Bordelain Amherst, an old money billionaire with his own ideas on what the world ought to be like, controlled the compound where we were kept. Right from the beginning they took extra notice of me. The Singhs were excellent caretakers of all the children in their charge, but I was their favorite. I was young and innocent and believed her my mother. I was constantly asking her questions when I wasn't getting into trouble. Even as I little boy I had a bit of a temper.

(note: he paused at this point and gazed straight at me. Being the focus of his intense gaze is not comfortable)

Kuldip tried to tame me through faith and legends. She was a Sikh and had incredible stories to tell about the longhaired warriors of her people. They were not just brave but honorable and that was what she wanted for me. The Sikhs took care of the weak and defended their homeland from invaders. During the Raj, they had served the kings and queens of England.

(note: he stops in thought and sits down)

She told me stories about the old days when the warriors of India fought the Moghuls. I loved those stories. One day I saw a horse outside of the compound with odd ears, she told me that it was a Marwari or maybe a Kathiawari, she wasn't sure, the horse of warriors. She told me of Chetak, the warhorse of Maharana Pratap and how it leaped high into the air so he could shoot arrows at his enemies riding an elephant. How an elephant swinging a sword cut the stallion's hoof off, but Pratap did not know it until he escaped.

"You see, Khan, even a horse can be a warrior," she told me. I vowed then to be worthy of those stories. I would be a warrior and protect my people. Even at six I knew this was my destiny.

(note: he paused here longer this time as his thoughts became more concise and organized)

I was at eight when Amherst decided the Singhs were no longer needed and had to go. It killed me to watch the only mother I had ever known pack to leave and I couldn't understand why she was not taking me and Joachim with her. I thought I had done something wrong and had made her mad at us. I was eight and kept pleading "I'm sorry" .I thought it was my fault, that I wasn't good enough and this was my punishment.

(note: Khan will not look at me as he tells this part of his story)

She insisted I had done nothing wrong, that it was just time for them to go. I pleaded with her to take us with her. I was only eight and afraid. It was the last time I felt that kind of fear. I vowed from then on to depend on no one other than myself for comfort.

Joachim cried and Kuldip picked him up. That last day was burned into my brain. "You've done nothing wrong," she assured him and kissed his tears away. "But you must promise me to not make the men angry," she cautioned us. She wasn't so much worried about Joachim, who has a generous nature, as she was worried about me. I was too smart for the men raising us and I could not tolerate ignorance.

(Note: I can not say that Khan is crying but he is suffering painful memories)

She opened one arm to me and drew me into her protective embrace. "Take care of your brother and don't make them angry. Promise me, Khan, you won't make them mad at you."

I promised and tried my best to keep it.

I learned years later, after I adopted their names as my own the only people I ever knew as parents did not get far off the compound before they were killed to keep the secret of my and the others existence.

Amherst then brought in a man named David Meade an Olympic martial artist to train us in martial arts while Chandragupta took over our formal education. I did my best to stay out of trouble, but I was easily angered and these people were just too stupid. Chandragupta could not grasp the fact that I didn't have to repeat everything over and over to learn it? Didn't he know how boring it was to sit at a computer and read the history of Pakistani and Indian conflict over and over? And all those books. I could read them all in a week and remember all of it. Giving me more and more to read only made me angry. I was a child and wanted to be outside with David and the others learning how to kick and fight. And I liked David. He was always smiling and telling us how good we were, and in time I surpassed my teacher.

As my training took a more physical turn, I discovered that I needed to be careful when I fought David. I was faster than he and hit harder. Amherst decided then that it was time to up my training and brought in another man, an American named Sgt. Walker, ex Army Ranger. Sgt. Walker was about weapons and war and called himself a mercenary who had survived the war in Afghanistan. The war I had been reading about was now alive in my mind. He also made it clear that the Moslems were the enemies of the West and India. Pakistan had once been a part of India and had been stolen from them. I listened. Walker was a warrior, and warriors were to be respected. Chandragupta was a talking head and not so much.

(note: there is another long pause as he loses himself in memory. I don't know whether to continue or not when he resumes speaking)

How I made it to sixteen without any serious repercussions was anyone's guess. I had nothing but contempt for the suits Amherst and Chandragupta, and with my strength, speed and agility increasing at an alarming rate they became afraid of me. Always now someone kept a handgun in case they needed to use it on me.

I devoured all the books they gave me on advanced weapons and complex physics and math. To prove just how much I had learned, I made a small bomb and blew up Chandragupta's office. No one got hurt, but the action did not sit well with them Chandragupta wanted me punished, but not just punished brutalized so that I knew who was in charge.

When I realized what they were going to do to me, I resisted and wound up tazered and then sedated. When I came to they had my hands chained over my head to a heavy metal pole that was designed to control elephants. I tried to pull myself free, but I couldn't get away.

They had stripped me, and that first lick of the leather across my naked back sent fire blazing through me. It was the most horrible pain imaginable. I fought once again to try and free myself, but it was pointless; they meant to teach me a lesson. By the tenth stroke I had no strength in my legs and leaned on my arm. I remember it being so hot but I refused to give them the satisfaction of begging. With every bite on my skin I sank deeper into myself until it didn't matter what they did to me, I couldn't feel it anymore. Oh my body felt it, but my mind was somewhere else.

I don't know how long the beating lasted, but when the men came and unchained me, it was David's hands that caught him. David who took me back to my bed with Joachim in tears following. Lying on my belly, my back and flank stripped of all skin, I permitted myself tears of anger. I hated all of them. David sprayed something on my back to keep the flies away and to promote healing.

This was when the suits learned that I healed faster than anything they had ever seen. Within two days there were only a few red welts across my back and by week's end my skin was smooth and without blemish. Regrettably this was when David decided he wanted to be more than my friend.

(Note: I waited several minutes while he clearly remembered another time and place. I finally asked him what happened)

He tried to seduce me and I killed him.

(Note: no explanation was given, and I decided this was a good place to stop. When I turned off my recorder and readied to leave. He stood up so swiftly it frightened me)

Are you coming back tomorrow?

Yes, they are giving me the rest of your waking, if that is all right with you.

(note: he swallowed hard and inclined his head)


	2. Chapter 2

Day Two:

(I regret that I was detained most of the day and am only now making it to the Starfleet brig to interview Khan. Mr. Spock most dutifully, understanding the importance of getting a clear picture of this man's mind before he is placed back in cryosleep, has agreed to meet me there.

I find myself a few minutes early, but the guards are present with weapons at ready having been notified by Mr. Spock that he was caught in traffic but would arrive shortly.

Khan is sitting on the deck with his back to the glass. I can almost imagine him meditating)

McGivers: Good evening, Mr. Singh, I apologize….. (he turns so swiftly in his sitting position that it startles me)

Khan: Are you well?

McGivers: Yes, as I was saying, I got detained by some Starfleet matters.

Khan: And yet here I sat worrying about you.

(outside of the fact he didn't look worried only annoyed, I simply nod my head and resume)

McGivers: What would you like to discuss this evening?

(he has such a hard gleam in his eyes I am concerned that he may try to intimidate me. Like some magnificent animal he smoothly stands up using just his leg muscles, never touching the floor with his hands. I fear my observations may not be as scientific as they should, but how can one not be impressed in his presence. Humanity is always intrigued more by the devil than the saint. His expression has changed, and I fear he may have detected my admiration in my face. He moves to the glass where I am sitting and sits back on the deck)

Khan: Since you are the last woman I will probably ever speak to, may I call you Marla?

(It has never occurred to me that cryosleep was a form of dying. To go to sleep knowing that they will never wake you up. I know he's been asleep for three hundred years, but he hardly looks in his mid thirties. How many years must he sleep before it takes its toll on his …beauty? I fear this interview will say as much about me as him. The insight may well be invaluable)

McGivers: Certainly. What would you like to talk about tonight? (I hear Mr. Spock entering the brig area and address the guards. I glance back and smile at him. Khan is restless at being confined to such a small space and moves again, this time lying flat on the deck with his hands folded across his abdomen. It is difficult not to appreciate the full length of him. My objectivity is not very objective right now. I can not imagine how he appeared in full warrior mode, but right now his body screams come fuck me. He turns his head slightly and looks at me. Having his full attention is unnerving)

Khan: Your hair is a beautiful color. Why do you wear it so severe? It takes away from the softness of your face. Let it down…for me.

(I am stunned and hear Mr. Spock clear his throat in a cautionary tone. I had been warned that Khan would try to manipulate me, but I had not imagined it would be so simple as a compliment. I look down at him, and he is eyeing Mr. Spock with the coldest eyes imaginable. Since there is no danger of me falling victim to this man behind the glass, I smile at Mr. Spock hoping to reassure him and let my hair down. What harm can it do?)

Khan: That's better. You have a pretty face, and if it must be the last beauty I see, then better this way.

McGivers: I did not know you were so adept at flattery.

Khan: I am adept at many things. (he bites his lower lip for a moment in thought, a strange smile on his face, and then looks back at me) The ones who created me gave me to a woman when I was eighteen.

McGivers: Gave you?

Khan: Yes, it was a reward. They also feared I might become a rapist.

McGivers: Have you ever raped anyone?

Khan: Not that I am aware of. Rape is about power. Since I have never doubted my power, I have never felt the need to force myself on anyone. I could always find someone willing to keep me company.

McGivers: The woman they gave you to. Who was she? (Khan's smile concerns me. I may have just fallen into a trap, but I can't let go.}

Khan: She told me to call her Elizabeth. That is all I know of her identity, although for the three days I was with her there really wasn't much to talk about. When she left I never saw her again. I presume she was a professional. (He's looking at me now with such intensity I must look away) How old were you?

McGivers: Pardon?

Khan: Humor a dying man. When did you become ….a woman.

(I do not want to discuss my sex life, although at the moment there isn't much of one.)

McGivers: I would rather we talk about you. Much more interesting. Did you have any long term relationships?

Khan: One if you could call it that. She worked for MOSAD and liked to fuck me with blood on my body. After one particular difficult situation in Iran, I think we spent the week in bed.

McGivers: Did she know about your enhanced abilities?

(Khan grins)

Khan: After that week she did. I was always intrigued that women responded more readily to me with blood on my body than without. I never understood why.

(I can not help but blush as I imagine some dark haired beauty in his arms his blood smeared on their perfect bodies. Too late I realize he is once more studying me. )

Khan: it was the Israelis who first brought to light that I wasn't quite human. They kept it from the Americans and the British for a few years, but then let it slip. That was the beginning of the unravel, that and the idiots who could not leave well enough alone.

McGivers: Idiots? (I'm still trying to get the image of a trail of bright red crawling down his pale perfect body out of my mind)

Khan: Men and women like myself who had to show constantly how cruel they were….and stupid. (he sits up now and wraps his arms around his knees. Am I that besotten or is he truly that beautiful? I don't know. Any distraction away from the thoughts now in my head is welcomed. I would…figuratively…kill to see him nude…and once more I come out of my reverie to find him watching me) Am I boring you that you must day dream of other things?

McGivers: No…no! I just think about what you say. My apologies.

Khan: None required then. If I bore you please let me know.

McGivers (nervous grin): Nothing you have said is in the least bit boring.

Khan: Do my insights help you understand men like me? How we think…..how we….feel?

MCGivers: Most certainly. (I lied, I learned more about myself than him. He just generalized events. Thank god there is a barrier between us. I can not help but look at him mouth and imagine ….I am beside myself. How did this happen?) I am sorry we must cut this short tonight. It is late….

(Khan stands so quickly I am surprised. He leans close to the glass and waits for me to stand and draw near. )

Khan (whispering): I hope I dream of you tonight. I just regret we could not have met when I was free.

McGivers (enthralled) Why?

Khan: Because my dreams would have been real. Good night Lt. McGivers.

McGivers: Good night, Mr. Singh. (Four more days then they lock him up forever. I can not help myself…I want him. What kind of fool wants a condemned man?)


End file.
